Motherhood Group: Losing everything and where I am now!

In this time of need, REAL LIFE classes are being held on a private group on Facebook. We will be sharing some of the classes with our Blog readers, in hopes that the topics and information will greatly benefit others too.

The Motherhood group was our first Facebook live class held. Our Pathway Navigator, Tauchanna kicked class off with a much-needed prayer and prompted people to not think about their past, but to think of where they are now. One of REAL LIFE’s graduates, Michelle, then took the stage to tell her story. Looking back, 2019 was a very hard year for her. At the start of 2019, she had thought she was doing great, she was sober for 6 months and she gave birth to her son. However, she soon relapsed around this time last year. She lost everything – kids, job, house, car, and hurt some relationships along the way.

How did Michelle go from losing everything to having what she has now?

Michelle came to REAL LIFE in of June 2019. At the very beginning, she tried to leave because she was scared and was not used to having people guide and help her. For some time, she did well, but wondered why she kept falling short.

After fully committing to REAL LIFE and her recovery, great things started to happen for her. Less than a year later, she now has a car, a job, a safe place to live, and has a better relationship with her sister and her kids. Michelle has learned to lead a positive life by telling herself to “keep doing the next right thing,” which, in her eyes, means truly thinking before you act. Asking yourself, “is it good for me or my kids? Is it going to have a negative or positive impact on my life?”

Michelle’s message aimed at encouraging the other ladies in the class to really think about actions, which can prevent a situation from turning into something bad. Some other things that help Michelle on a day to day basis is, each day she starts her day by saying a prayer or reading a devotion. She also is able to stay focused by using a planner and creating tasks or goals. Even if it is a small task or goal, it feels great to complete it. Planning is a great way to keep track of your day and your mind.

Tauchanna encouraged that when trying to accomplish goals, to focus on the 3 W’s. Where, what, and who. Whether looking at short or long term goals, using your 3 W’s is essential. “Where do I want to be in the upcoming weeks, months, or years? What do I need to get me there? Who do I need to get me there?” While many people hate asking for help, we are here to help each other, and it is okay to ask for help.

Michelle’s goals using the 3 W’s are:

Where does she want to be? – Getting her own apartment outside of her safety net.

What do she need to get there? – Learning to budget and be/stay clean.

Who does she need to get her there? – God, REAL LIFE, and her social network.

Using the 3 W’s can help you think and plan out the steps needed to successfully meet your goals.

However, with goals, comes sacrifices. As you look at these goals you set, you have to look at the sacrifices that will have to made as well. “Where do I need to stop going?” That can be physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. “What do I need to stop doing?” and “Who do I need to let go?” It is hard to let go of people we have known for a long time, but holding on to someone who is not looking out for your best interest or is constantly putting you in bad situations, is toxic. It is okay to cut those people out of your life. If you are not sticking up for yourself, who is? It is hard to let go of these things and people, but it is necessary to live a positive life. Choose happiness and joy.

Tauchanna finished the group with some inspirational words. “Know that you are loved, and you matter. Despite what you are going through you have a purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us “God says my plan for you is good and not evil, to give you a hope and a future.”

Written by Nyomi, REAL LIFE Intern, VCU